Stop Calling Me That

I don’t really take offense to a lot, but one thing that absolutely drives me up the wall is when people refer to me as a “dork”, “nerd”, “geek”, “gamer”, or anything else in that respect that may or may not have anything to do with Vulcan hand-shakes and/or what needless story arc some long-running anime is currently leading on hopeless fans by a chain-linked leash and collar – even if said referral is meant to be an affectionate prod.

People consistently call me one or more of these things on a regular basis; at least three times a week. And I don’t, for the life of me, understand why. I’m not even very much in the know about anything that could label me as a member of the nerdcore community. When I write my articles and make my videos, I’m either going by my faded childhood memories, gained experience from observation, my brothers and friends, or Wikipedia.

I guess the reason people point me out to be a nerd or a geek, is because my thought process is so glaringly different from the normal person caught in the bleak crowd of typical humanity. Yeah, well, that’s because I grew up in a family of artists and teachers. That has nothing to do with me being a nerd. It has to do with being taught to think for myself, and outside the box.

Even my brothers think I’m a gigantic nerd (and lazy, for that matter, but what older sibling doesn’t think that of their younger kin?), when in reality, the only reason I know what they’re talking about is because they both were children of the ‘80s, and are themselves nerds and, for the lack of a better term, media snobs. Being the youngest sibling of three, with the older two being boys, I couldn’t help but to be exposed, since they were always stuffing Transformers, Lego, video games, and Star Wars figures into my hands. And unfortunately, talking about nerd-like things is one of the few ways I can relate not only to them, but to my friends as well.

Example, my middle brother, Fanon, is into economics. I know little about economics to the extent he does, other than the fact that North America is financially screwed, and there’s nothing we can do about it unless the people upstairs stop thinking about their own pockets. But we both know and understand web and graphic design. My eldest brother, Squig, works for a racking company and also volunteers for Cub Scouts. I know nothing about racking, other than the fact that I desperately need shelves so I can get crap off my floor and out of my closet. But we both know and understand horror movies.

What happens when you openly wave around a copy of
The Star Wars Holiday Special at a Star Trek convention

Another example: Squig once mentioned how I know Bruce Campbell’s filmography off by heart. I don’t – he does. But he just assumes that I’m instantaneously into everything he’s into, because we get along so well. Natural.

In fact, the last time I watched a Bruce Campbell movie was about six months ago – and before that, almost a year; and both movies were terrible, forgettable titles. At the most, watching them made me feel pity toward Campbell, because it’s so mind-numbingly clear that he’s a talented actor, and he’s pissing all over his resume, just so he can have the title of “King of the B-Movie”. With the age of rampant crapola in the box office, we need someone like him to help rectify the cinematic fecal tornado of the 2000s – not add to it.

“Yeah, but you primarily write about and review old video games! You must be a nerd! Only nerds play games from twenty years ago!”

Correction: It's what I've been exposed to. I have been playing the old-school Nintendo since I was three years old. Not because it’s “cool to play retro games”. Not because I’m goth, and “that’s just what goth kids do”. It’s because growing up, my mom was really strict about what games I could play -- and the fact was, I rarely got a new game outside of Christmas or birthdays, or special occasions.

If I wanted a new game outside of the three aforementioned events, I’d have to save up for it myself, or substantially prove why I should have one. Not only that, but I’m slow to impress or catch up on anything. Not just games, but movies, music, and books. I didn’t even get an original Playstation until Christmas of 2000, and already, the forthcoming Playstation 2 was an impending meteor.

To be bluntly honest, I had no idea there was even a retro movement, up until late 2007, early 2008. No, I’m not living under a rock, but it just shows how disconnected I really am from the nerdcore community. Playing Super Mario Bros. 3 for fifteen years, and then discovering that other people were still playing it as well, only made me go “Oh. Okay. Cool, I guess.” I didn’t really think too much about it, because I assumed what I was doing was the norm. If the games still work and are still fun, why not still play them?

It's not just a hobby ... it's a way of life.

As for current-gen gaming, well, nothing honestly reaches for my attention. Oh sure, there’s Fallout 3 and Portal, which I have played and really enjoyed … but I hardly see the justification in spending money that could be wisely put into my university fund, on two games – not to mention a console that will probably end up being replaced in a few more years. I got fed up with console musical chairs after I bought a Game Cube late in its life cycle, and vowed I would never step into the cycle again. Too many wires, not enough space, and quite frankly, I can’t afford it. Not that I play video games all that much anyway. Just enough to satisfy a short urge, and that’s it. I can easily go for a few months without picking up a controller or my DS. In fact, I talk about video games more than I actually play them.

In short, my eighteen-year-old NES has never failed me, and my sixteen-year-old SNES, though beaten up quite a bit, still sings to the high heavens. I’ve already had to replace my PS2 and Game Cube within a matter of two or three years, and I really don’t want to imagine the horrors I’ll eventually be left with if I go out and buy a 360, which is known for its horrendous amount of troubleshooting. If my games still work, are an absolute blast to play even now, and purchasing “new” titles is relatively in my budget, why shouldn't I keep up with my childhood consoles, instead of constantly doling out fifty to eighty dollars when a new game comes in town? Yeah, the games may be nearly ancient, but if I haven’t gotten around to playing a certain title, it’s still new to me!

Incidentally, nor am I at all tech-savvy – I just know enough to survive. In fact, I hate computers; they leave a glaring bad taste in my mouth. Macs are not better than PC’s. And PC’s are not better than Macs. They both have their pros and cons, and really, the only contrast between the two is that you’re paying for a completely different set of technical problems and errors.

I have no idea what people who are into anime are watching right now. I got out of that scene a good seven years ago. It’s rare that I’ll watch an anime, and the few that I stand by are ones that put a profound dent in my “impressions gauge”. Anime like Lain, which talks about the Internet and technology as an addiction and religion; or basically any anime feature directed by Hayao Miyazaki.

I don’t even read comic books or manga that much. I have a huge pile of them, but only because my brothers needed the extra room in their homes – or thought I’d like to get into them, so they dumped all their extras on me, or gave me some for birthdays. The fact is I don’t have the patience for comic books. I can be a mix between OCD and ADD at times, whereas once I miss an issue (or even an episode of a TV show), I instantly lose interest. The only comic I followed through completely was a Christian manga by Marvel’s Buzz Dixon, called Serenity.

“Yeah, but you read and completely rave about Watchmen!”

Watchmen I read, because I wanted to know what the hype was about. And I like great stories. The fact that Watchmen is a comic book and that the main characters are super heroes is just a matter of circumstance. It could have been a TVO Kids claymation with furry elephants and flying macaroons – It doesn’t mean I’m a nerd. Like most people, I enjoy a good, well-told story; Watchmen is that, and it just to so happens to be told in a graphic novel form.

Speaking of raving, there’s very little that I “joygasm” over. If you’ve met me, you’ll know that when I like something, it’s basically, “Yeah, it was good,” or “I think you’d really enjoy this.” …Not “OH MY GOOD GRAVY, YOU MUST SIMPLY EXPERIENCE THIS. IF NOT YOU’RE DOOMED FOREVER RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!” – And the same goes for if someone hates on something I do like. Instead of getting all NERD RAGE (see fig.1) and telling the individual they are an “effing moron” and “do not realize that [insert] is the ‘Gone with the Wind’ of its time,” but instead want to know why they didn’t enjoy whatever it was that I did.

Come on, guys. Street Fighter wasn't that bad... :(

For example, there’s a fellow I know who thinks Pulp Fiction is one of the two worst movies he’s ever seen. Though yes, I do think that’s a far fetched and exaggerated statement, I wondered why he’d dislike something as cinematically profound as Pulp Fiction. ...Unfortunately, he never told me.

…But anyway, if there is something I can’t stop talking about, or go into squeals of glee at the mere mention of, or defend it to the death during a slanderous discussion, you know that whatever the thing is, it’s put a serious dent in my aforementioned and nearly impenetrable “impressions gauge”. Things with great stories, like Watchmen, Vandal-Hearts, and The Princess Bride. ...Things that inspire me to become a better writer, like Stephanie Meyer’s sense of fantastical realism, Terry Pratchett’s cinematic description, and Stephen King’s introspective style. ...Things that made an impact on my childhood, like the use of imagination, living in the country surrounded by forestry, and a sense of strong family and religious values.

Though reading back on this article, as well as past things I've written or said, I do understand why people think of me as a member of the nerdcore community. The fact is, that I’m just so exposed to it on a regular basis. My friends are nerds, my brothers are nerds, and I guess some of the things I enjoy can be classified as nerdy, even though most people take part in very similar, if not exactly the same things.

But it’s not just that. Heck, I’ve even been called “creepy” and “stalkerish”, because I can be so quiet and introverted, that when I step into a room and say “Hello,” people jump! I honestly can’t help it when I sneak up on people. I don’t know how not to. Even when I approach facing them, or use a softer tone, I still surprise the non-paying-attention.

But what folks fail to realize is that the world is not so black and white; you can’t take everything at face value. Being exposed to the medium is far different than partaking in it. Unfortunately though, people are too wrapped up in their own lives and self-centredness to tend to the wonders of perception, or to really care.

And in that sense, why do I even care what other people think of me? I know who I am, and shouldn’t that be the only thing that matters? I suppose, but it does truly grow very wearying when I open my mouth to say something, and even the nerdiest of nerds, and the dorkiest of dorks call me a “nerd” and a “dork”.

It's pretty bad when these guys say you're nerdier than they are.

The fact is, it makes steam pour out my ears, because it just shows that people are just too uninterested in really getting to know me, and instead think they can summarize my personality in a faulty point-form check-list and stereotype labeling system and be done with me.

To be honest, I very rarely am able to finish my points or properly explain myself because I’m always interrupted or being selectively heard – so it’s usually assumed that what I’m talking about is so niche. And the only thing I can do about the inaccurate “nerd” label is laugh and say “no I’m not,” and ignore people when they rebut with “yes you are." (trust me this actually happens)

And the reason it makes me so angry is because I go out of my way to be friendly and try to get to know people as best I can. Believe it when I say being outward and boisterous does not come easy for me – and it makes me wonder why I should even bother trying at times, if people won’t give me the same sort of respect and time I offer them.